Pushing too hard?

Now that I have seen victory, and unemployment funds are drying up, testing time she comes!

My husband and I talked over bills and have appreciated every penny this week. Let’s thank God for EDD this time.

And the pressure that COULD take place CAN take over. More clearly: it Is capable of stealing my ability to believing His wonderful provision, either by practical means or my absolute miracle… I must be still and know He is the honorable boss of this establishment! (give myself a fighting chance so I can sit up and shut up).

I am weak. My confession to Mr Obvious.

I look at my husband’s furrowed brow over the numbers are my concerns too. I feel the weight of responsibility … And there are very few jobs out there that fill my expertise.

… And so I strive…

I don’t feel the need to plead with the Lord for His provision, but I do sense I could be pleading on behalf of my weak nature!

More people have been in my place. All my friends that have lost their job have suffered longer and have lost more than I.

I am reminded of the song referring to the righteous:
“I have never seen the righteous forsaken or seen them begging for bread”

So let it be!

Milestone #1

I Passed my SQL Server Implementation and Maintenance exam! 

It took me a long time to get the courage to sign up for the exam. 

While I was taking the test, I was saying, ” I don’t know the answer they want, but this is what I would choose”.

and I passed with excellent scores!

This represented an entire career of working on a technology I had to learn by the seat of my pants.

I was doing right & the test confirmed “everything is ok”.

2 Peter 2:2  – For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.

I was affirmed and it quiets my soul.

Stretch Armstrong & Captain Crunch

How can i be in a kid in a grown-up-suit? i can’t escape it.

My time of rest these few months have been fantastic, but reality comes squeezing in like a labor pain. Ah, that nepharious muscle contracting, sinisterly bantering IM STILL HERE.
I’m getting that stretching feeling.

I would never change this to go back to feeling so crunchy, it was insane (and not so accurate of a picture of reality!).

Whatever the case may be, job searching, pounding the pavement, I have been able to lose weight, exercise and do a lot of much-needed resting.

There are starving people in countries and I’m worried about… what??

Reflection of good and bad

Problems arise, it is always to remember the painful, even though it is.. just that painful!

I won’t be growing up or ‘moving on’ to the next thing until I walk out the difficult.
I must choose to look at the good.. and the bad.

I suppose reflection wouldn’t be reflection if we reflected on only the good and not the bad?

Sometimes you are the bat…

Sometimes you are the bat, sometimes you are the ball.
Can I be the bat just every now and then?

What is on YOUR personal wish list?

Tonight as I am [supposed to be ] doing my homework.

I yearned… oh how I could spend my time!:

1 hour with coffee, watching the sun rise in the quiet of the morning.

2 hours in devotion and worship

2 hours of cooking

3 hours going around visiting my girlfriends and helping my friend that has breast cancer.

The rest of the evening kicking it with the family.

 

Daily reading and sundry thoughts…

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in

, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,  

(Rom 12:10-13 NASB)

 

 

…. When things get messy, we know we need to be devoted to each other. But for some of us it is hard to be devoted when your life feels askew, right?

 

I must risk my personal comfort and share with my sisters what is inside.

 

What is the problem you ask?

 

The risk is my mouth.

.. and the problem is that words come out.

 

They flop out and bumble out there and then have to pull up my words and re-arrange them so they make sense.

That takes time. (*With hands on hips*, ….but I am fourty years old for crying out loud.)

 

What I have learned this past week is this:

• I will bumble with my choice of words, how to speak it with clarity. I don’t always convey what is on my heart.
  
• My words can burden those who hear it
  
• I will keep myself in prayer over speaking. This includes work and personal life.
  
• I have to keep speaking, writing and sharing. I must risk.
  
• Sometimes I do speak clearly, and when I do, there will always be a person who could extract a negative connotation on to Claudia’s life. That I don’t pay attention to that kind of perception. Why? I am limited and our Creator is unlimited.
  People’s perceptions becomes a vacuum, and their problems (or opinions) aren’t mine, even if my name might be in there somewhere.
  
• I will always keep myself submitted to those I have entrusted to be over me. I am human, they are human, but this is God’s order and love covers multitude of sins.
  
• Personal devotions. even with working full time, my hour and a half with my Lord and Creator is barely enough for me to touch the things in this life that continue to bear fruit.
  
• I understand now that my fruit is borne …in TIME.
  

I must press in with my service to Him and not just sit around and wait for a definite calling.

 

 

 

 

 

diligence

contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

School is in!

Child #2 is now a senior,

Number #1 is seriously dating and adjusting from posh college to community college.

Number #3 just had his 16^th birthday. He’s still enjoying his gadgets and finds dad as father-friend. Oh yes, life is great

I’ll be starting CVSOM and nearing a week of no-rest. God help me draw from my quiet times to gather what energy I need for the up and coming school year.

Work is going through a project that is INCREDIBLY BORING and redundant. It is one of those re-occurring dreams you don’t want to dream yet again and again. Dang.

Grandma would always remind me that life is tough, and that was a good thing, builds character.

Now, just what are we to do with the boring days? Stuff ‘em under your bed and move on.

Toodles.

 

Straining to home stretch *aaaaargh*

[posted back in Feb/March]; old posting.

Work has been daunting now that my manager has been let go.  I find myself in a world where I need to learn so many new things, I ask the Lord please! rest! time! Oh, Lord, how can I live like this?

I had a moment that caused a momentary vacation.  I was walking out of the lady’s room at work and sighed

I closed my eyes and saw myself far, far away, walking on a green path, with the Lord strolling by my side, kind of like the road to Immaeus, except it was on a large piney mountainside where the only thing you can hear is the breeze through the trees.

Time to time I am captivated with the thoughts of heaven.  Not just la-la, get your lollipops and dance about… but a real heaven with citizenship and the Lord being glorified and praised, a home where we can “enter unto your rest” kind of place.

*sigh* I can’t wait.  I am nearing fourty and my body is already weary of this daunting world.

My silver lining is family and church fellowship…

ah, yes.. and we can’t forget the 1 minute vacations with Jesus.

Can’t do it without you, Lord!! Come, be my center.

My Parents’ fault! My counselor said so!!

God created the world.
God Created Adam and Eve and they took it from there.
By choice, our ancestor Adam & Eve messed perfect life up by the free-will choice God gave us all.
soo, we can blame it on our parents, right?
God sent Jesus so he could lift that choice away — and by that choice WE can if we want that perfect life! What a deal!

Walk with me on this one! Keep your ears perked.

If we choose God’s way by Jesus dying to reverse all bad that has been done (let’s say “what I have done”)…
THEN, the bible says we are adopted into the family of God.. by which we can call our Daddy ABBA…

we have a new adoption with HIS way reinstated
… if we choose to do so
I like that deal.
Kinda humbling that a living God would be willng to do such a thing.

for those who say “how dare you judge…..” Hey, God always said to was a choice to choose to believe or not. Leave it at that and move on, but may I submit to consider before the instinct to ‘reject’ wins? Intellectual honesty never hurt anyone